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Monday, September 01, 2008
Life's Weird... Not Incest Weird, More Like Sarah Silverman Weird

I came into summer with expectations. I expected things to be alittle weird, seeing these familiar faces once again after being seperated for so long while each of us have our own seperate lives, friends, experiences. I expected home life to be upsetting, fustrating, head pounding, you know, usual stuff. I expected people to change, to have seen the world and experienced new things and now have become different individuals. I expected to be monumentally bored.

Sure, all of these expectations turned out to be somewhat true one way or another, but truth of the matter is Summer of 08 will probably go down as the best 3 months of my teen years (yes i still use teen, because i have the chance to, cuz once i hit 20, teen hardly sounds appropirate anymore).  That was something i never expected. Having been to USA, the USA, i've expereinced so many new things and met so many new individuals, it kinda really sucked leaving there and comnig home with all these negative expectations hanging over your shoulders. 3 months did not sound fun at all. Sure the first 3 weeks kinda turned out to be a dud, and I quickly found myself counting down the days till my imminent departure but things changed. They kinda changed for the better, you know, hanging out with people got more enjoyable and less of the awkward catch-up small talk. I started remembering why I love hanging out with these silly silly people I call my friends and why JIS was truly memorable (albeit all the depressing moments). You know, we kind of made what we could of Brunei, we did things I don't think I would have normally done elsewhere but we did just because it was us, young and dumb. Family life got more nejoyable, espaically if you keep thinking of how there is going to be less and less time to spend with them. And the lack of curfew; turly remarkable.

So here I am, desperate for more time here in a complete reversal of my feelings 3 months ago. That's why life's weird. Or life's kinda sadistic and twisted. I dunno, you be the judge. So now that I have 5 days left, I truly began to reminisce the times we spent together, the photos we took, (the posters we stole, the pinnacles we climbed, the flying fishes we desperatly grabbed on to) and I can't help but to feel kinda bummed. I guessed I should be glad that things worked out
cuz truly, summer08, will never be forgotten.

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Exclamation_popcorn reflected on life at 10:39 PM


Wednesday, August 06, 2008
Aren't you tired of these summer titles and themes?

Note: This is really just for my personal reference.

Cuz I sure am.... Yes yes summer is awesome, summer is relaxing, summer is the much wanted time to do the things we didnt have the time to do. But its sort of going into overkill right now. 2 long streched out months do not sit well with me, and knowing that I have to go through ANOTHER one...*gasp.

So basically, just like my last summer (of '06), I made a list of things that I wanted to do with my time-
1. Figure out what to do with summer
2. Learn about raising rabbits
yea, I had a rabbit phase where I wanted one for the upcoming year, but it turns out that they are very high maintenance (much like....*stare at ceiling). Also, turns out they're serial pooping machines (case of diarrhea?)
 3. Play lots of video games
And boy have I been successful. From finishing Heroes V: TotE, to a brief Runescape affair and now to my 
neverending lust for Warcraft. I've returned to my childhood hobby that I love love love.
4. Find a Summer Job
Earn alittle bit of extra cash, forwarding my summer'09 europe cause. Turns out I'm occupationally undesired. Its illegal for me to work in Brunei (illegal screams uptight parents) and my little stint with Singaporean Biotech companies failed. As of now, I just hope I'll be employable when I return to ohio.
5. Become an Accountant, budget!
So 2007-8 wasn't excatly the most fiscally wonderful year. I managed to overspend by a thousand (yes a thousand) dollars. No thanks to online shopping and pub outings. So basically, I took the time to budget my future expenses, count my previous quarter expenditures. Lesson I learnt? I overspend on food.
6. Future my Europe Summer'09 Campaign
Im due for another trip to some exotic location (think Cambodia trip times 5- a realistic number as apposed to a million). So currently, Im planning Ireland, England, Belgium (possibly) and most importantly, The Netherlands (think Coffee Shops). Currently, this campaign is poorly funded (and when i say poorly funded, I mean, there isnt one) and it doesn't help that transatantic flights have crazily expensive (with the exception of Aerlingus which flies into Ireland for around $500 return). Hopefully, I'll hook some friends into going with me and I'll meet up with some friends in England.
7. Clean up iTunes library
Basically 5 hours of artwork addage and tag corrections.
8. Learn to Drive and Cook
I can drive now! No licence, but the ability to drive is always there now and I'm pretty excited about it. Possibly getting my Ohio-an licence this fall. My cooking ability isnt great, but at least I know I can fix something up when I need to.
9. Become more employable
Upgrade my CV, fill in more accomplishments (and at least I have some)
10. Love the tests
Considered the ACTs which I am no longer doing, however, the GRE is in my future at some point
11. Interior Decorate!
 I compiled a list of Ikea (gotta love the Ikea) furniture that I will get when I move into my new place in September and planned out everything in my bedroom. Im going bold with the standing clothes rack instead of an actual dresser and Im going with this awesome desk with lots of compartments. Its going to be...awesme. (and expensive)

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Exclamation_popcorn reflected on life at 12:48 PM


Tuesday, August 05, 2008
Passionless (Warning: Not a Cocktail Drink)

That pretty much sums out how I feel right now. A whole heaping bunch of non-passion. I began evaluating my interests after watching all these creative fashion designers talk about how they love doing what they do and are geuiniely striving to stay in the industry that they adore. As I go through my laundry list of past, present and potential future interests, Im basically crossing out more and more things that I no longer feel passionatly for or have a luke-warm desire for it. There was music, art, design, fashion, science, pyschology. The crazy thing is I go through the same process with every single one of them. I dwelve into it, I really enjoy it, I seek for more, Then I get slightly bored, then I lose complete interest. Yea, I have the passion-span of a not-very-passionate-goldfish. I mean, its nice to be knowledgable in them and enjoy them once in a while, but a life lnog career is asking too much out of me. It explains why Im flipfopping with majors and minors. Its crazy!

The only thing that I still love trhoughout the years is tennis, but that ship has sailed past, docked on a distant port and took a spaceship to some far far far planet. yea that means 
Ill most probably definitely not become aprofessional player. Tragic rite? 

It just gets me a little worried. What my future is to be. Am I going to be in a moderately satisfied job because i selected a major that i was interested in at that moment but lost passion for it when I graduated? Does this translate into potential love lives? I just really need to establish something that I really enjoy doing... maybe Animal theraphy is my thing.....

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Exclamation_popcorn reflected on life at 11:28 PM


Saturday, June 14, 2008
My Life Smells of Unfufilled Potential




Summer is a time of self-discovery..... well thats what they say about every period of the year. Im guessing some of the anglo-french humor is rubbing of on me (the dry satirical kind) but anyway, I have just completed Stephen Clarke's third novel 'Merde Happens' which turned into a really really satisfying novel that just leaves you grinning for more at the end. Its reflective of peoples lives in a sense. Shit happens and new opportunities arise (the optimistic viture).

Its a this moment Im wary about wasted opportunities though. As this is probably my last summer (ever maybe?) at Brunei, it might also be the last opportunities i get to really spend time with my parents and my high school friends. And honestly, whoever said that life is always running out of time was probably wasting his on qoutes like these, we have plently of time, we just don't really make the best use of it. So im just trying to make my best of these 3 months and not waste any of them. Time that needs to be valuably put towards not only my family, my friends from high school, my friends in college but also for myself. Time used wishing is time wasted not doing.

Finally, I once again get serious doubts concerning career choice. They say that when your start calling your career a job is when you stopped living your dream. Reading about Paul's tea house and gallavanting across the states promoting British tourism in a kilt (yes yes, absurd sounding no?) and all his talk about dreams has got me thinking again about it. Recently, I've had a bout of scholarship applications and i realize how 
underqualified I am with so many of them. Life and jobs seems to be a series of events that helps 
promote the later. We get good grades in high school to get into a good college where we get good professors who will give us good referrels so we can get into a good professional school where we write good thesises so that we can get good jobs where we get good references so that we can get other such 'good things' in life. But yet I am currently struggling with mediocrity. It is unlike myself to strive for the average but yet I am unmotivated to do more. And I realize it was because I don't really wish to strive to become a good microbiologist or a good FBI agent. Its just not my true dream. Maybe my parents have led me down the wrong path (the cursed path where asian parents doom their children to either engineering, science or business) but I can't really blame them for I myself still have no idea of what my true dream really is. After all, I am the guy who currently has a double major in Microbioogy and International 
studies, has a minor in Philosophy (and considered majoring in it). Wanted to major in Interior design, Journalism (Photo and Sports), Kinesiology, Law, Medicine, Sport Studies and Psychology. I often joke that I would dream of
being a professional student but if that is what i could really be to figure our what I truly love doing then it would be compeltely worth it. But until then, I will keep figuring it out and maybe till that day comes when I get my revelation, I keep going with what society and family comforms me to be.

Till then, its summer and its time to live.

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Exclamation_popcorn reflected on life at 6:31 PM


Sunday, March 02, 2008
Requiem for a Dream

So life is kinda... 'bleh'... thats the real only word i can describe things right now. Sorry GJ, its not going to be another emo rant which i guess its a good thing. But really, life is kind of ..'bleh'
Im sort of tired with humanity and living the 'proper' way right now..the higher education, jobs, family.. its just daunting thinking about it. And as i approach graduation, i feel all sorts of pressure pilling in onto me, and at that though, i squirm and futily resist with all my will.
So my parents are retiring in 6 months. That thought alone just fills me with dread. To think that it would seem life has lost a purpose after you stop working.. what will we do? how shall we spend time? Now that we are no longer contributing memebrs of society, what purpose do we hold> i guess as i keep thinking about it theres so much more to life than jobs, but it seems like our society has now made it a mantra to life. Something everyone has to go through but yet 
all some of us want to do is just live life and learn. But at this moment, i feel so lost. 

Im tired of people really.. the things they put you through. The selfishness people exhibit. Its another daunting process of our lives. Im already expressed my displeasure with humans, and i don't think i'll change my oppinion  on that till someone proves me otherwise. Best friends who are never there for you, buddies who aren't there when you need someone to talk to. Its kinda sasd really. Its just one of those lonely feelings i guess.

Life is just so daunting and yet we live. We live through it, we overcome any barriers thrown into our arms. We try to make it through the day, somehow hoping that the next will be different. And things will finally work out.

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Exclamation_popcorn reflected on life at 11:22 AM


Monday, December 31, 2007
The (Annual) New Years Wishlist

Eventhough i'm supposed to be saving money... i realized that i manage to buy nearly everything on my 2006 xmas wishlist.. (wat an achievement...) so i might as well make a list and see wat i can do about it.

1. Adidas Jersey Jacket
Price: Around $30-60....
Why: It just looks so damn hot... and its winter...i need a jacket.. plus it can always serve as a chilling jacket for autmn and spring...(heck it'd look good any season...i love adidas


2. Electric/ Acoustic Guitar
Price: Probably around $200
Why: So i can be jamming with you

3. iPod Speakers
Price: I got mine for $20
Why: Louder tunes, a way to wake up without having to hear that annoying alarm sound of your phone..


4. iPod + Nike Kit
Price: Probably really expensive
Why: I love running, i need new running shoes, it looks sweet..... really really sweet


5. iPod Touch
Price: Currently around $499, hopefully will reduce
Why: A fine way to updrade my Ipod Nano (which is starting to get alittle weathered...) And plus, touchscreen is always sweet plus 16GB of songs.....awesome


6. iPhone and a proper phone plan
Price: I dunno... alot?
Why
: Cuz i need to not spend 15c per textmessage and an iPhone looks really cool....or maybe i'm just into the whole hype... but i DOES look sweet...(and i'm a dope for the touchscreen.. don't get me strted on how much fun it is the press the touchscreen creditcard swiping machine at the store)



Yea, bascailly Apple keeps doing it, more and more ingenious and innovating designs and ideas. They keep taking our money too but thats fine...
So if anyoone wants to be an awesome friend..... buy me one of these please???? =D

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Exclamation_popcorn reflected on life at 4:32 AM


Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Again and Again and Again

Alas I have returned to the humble retreat of Brunei, a land of sparkling architectural feats (though only a few) but yet having nothing much to boast about in the entertainment department. Once
 again, boredom happens to be my no.1 problem throughout the progress of every day
but i guess its sort of typical when your living in a place where most of your friends have dispersed across the face of the globe and the most hip and happening night scene happens to be a mocktail 'bar' that also happened to borrow the name of a more famous restaurant (coughchilliscough). I guess its just sort of quality or aura that the country possesses, sort of like a hermit crab that excavates its way into innocent sea shells. Similairly, i can feel time slowly ebb away, tick by tick, bam, its another day.

Interestingly, when time comes in excess, we rediscover activities that we once found entertaining to be an effective antidote for such a problem. Once again, i am reaquinted with many online games as well as tv (oh sweet tv, how i have missed you).
Changing clothes everyday, once merely a daily routine, has now become peculiar; its just very tempting to slip the same pair of shorts back on.
Oh, and need i mention the internet speed... 50kb/s download speed?!?! thats unheard of at INTI (well cept of DC)'.

It would also be interesting to note changes in my friends whom i will be meeting tomorrow. Though now they are sparse in numbers, I'm expecting wiser, more matured people who I can engage with in political and global debates... well maybe thats wishful thinking on my part. ;)

But the main importance here is to note that if two countries within the same region I'm of relatively similair backgrounds and history is so different in so many different aspects (the people, the culture, the food, the government.... yadidayadida), what am I to expect in the states? Ooo humbug....




Ah the capital of Brunei... don't let aerial shot fool you, there
really isn't anything more than wat you see.

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Exclamation_popcorn reflected on life at 6:50 PM


Tuesday, June 19, 2007

We live in an intellectual wasteland. Thats right, Malaysia might be a brewing pot of ethnicities and cultures (though not always in harmony) but theres little doubt that our society has hit the intellectual slump.

Its been years (2 years in fact since i left JIS) since i've had a midly intellectually related topic.

Thank god for philosophy 101 where there were actual exchanges of wit and actual discussions. But besides that, my mind has been in a camatose state, suffering from cranial bleeding fron all the nonsense i hear everyday (sorry guys, buy you know we only talk crap all the time). This has been exemplified by my onsensical posts of recent years comapred to my older posts (which can be read here).

Hopefully more articulate debates when i reach the states.

Malaysia's 'do what i'm told' mentality doesn't carry them very far. We know little of politics, of philosophy, of theology, of concepts.. the list goes on. Instead, we indulge our brains in matters of food, money, games and well, more food. However, that is hardly our fault, for our national education style has brought about such impact. We fail to inspire the mind of articulate thinking, only mindless memorization and repitition of scientific knowledge (something that has little worth since anyone can do the same thing by referencing a book). Ask anyone of them on their perspective on contreversial issues such as gay marriages and civil rights, abortion, stem cell research, government involvement and privacy issues and you'll get a narrow minded reply (something along the lines of " Eww.... fetuses... or Yuck Gays..."). In other cases, you get an endless recital of religious passges in support of their argument (when in fact, using any religious text for many of these cases is a weak argument in iteself since people can always argue about the credibility of the religious text itself, which is a whole different issue; and the fact that people will always intepret religious texts in many different ways).

Though everyone already has their opinions and mindset fixed and are unlikely to change them from such discussion (unless we repeatedly slam a sledgehammer into their vacant skulls......erm..... metaphorically of course....), theres still nothing wrong with a healthy (heated/nonheated) debate.

I do, however, apologize for the generalization as i know there are people who are very intelectually adept in issues of importance.

So someone, challenge me so i can cream your conservative asses!

Addendum: Oh, and discussion of topics such as robot rights, botanical genocide, civil union for crocodiles are also welcome.

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Exclamation_popcorn reflected on life at 9:12 PM


Wednesday, June 13, 2007
Asian Pride


Sometimes, It just feels great being Asian.... (though not necessarily related to the reason below)

and also... the hottest people in the world... are the product of this ( <---- )

that's right...I'm talking about EURASIANS/AMERASIANS

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Exclamation_popcorn reflected on life at 12:47 AM


Wednesday, April 11, 2007
Network Socializing- The improbable scenarios

How, might i dare ask, do two people come about becoming friends purely through a social network (say Friendster, Facebook, Myspace, Livejournal, etc. etc.)
How do conversations start?
"Oh i see you have added a testimonial on my page, thanks for doing that you are the best person in the world. BTW i Love you"
Or maybe
"Wow we're such good poke buddies (its the only thing we do right?) why don't we take it a step further and be ass poking buddies?"

Fine fine so not all of them go that way but i'm just curious... how exactly do you make friends on a social network? How do you make the first contact and what the heck do you say to that person? How on earth do you discover things in common to talk about? (other than spying on each other's profiles). I'm interested cuz i've heard about all sorts of Facebook and Friendster buddies and maybe these crazed-socialites could enlighten me (its sort of sad that i know no one at OSU eventhough i'm in that network but hey, its going to be 4 months before go there) on how to be a monster network-online socializer.

However, one must be warned about the large numbers of posers, narcisissts, camera-hoggers, pedophiles, serial rapists, perverts, hairy sugar daddies, mistresses-for-hire, ovary merchants, pimps, floozies, prostitutes, amateur porn stars, webcam strippers, psychopaths, cannibals, receational stalkers, obsessive stalkers, sociopaths, identity theives, cat-loving hippies, excessive abortionists, mormons, ninjas, yippies, satanic worshippers, cult leaders, preachers, crazy evolutionists and sexmaniacs with an assortment of fetishes. Not to say they can't be fun or interesting people (try putting the preacher and the evolutionists in the same room).

But anyway, yea, somebody, tales of how you met the love of your life through the internet?

Note: I promise i'll fix the comment link so that it actually works. =D

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Exclamation_popcorn reflected on life at 11:23 AM