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Saturday, June 14, 2008
My Life Smells of Unfufilled Potential




Summer is a time of self-discovery..... well thats what they say about every period of the year. Im guessing some of the anglo-french humor is rubbing of on me (the dry satirical kind) but anyway, I have just completed Stephen Clarke's third novel 'Merde Happens' which turned into a really really satisfying novel that just leaves you grinning for more at the end. Its reflective of peoples lives in a sense. Shit happens and new opportunities arise (the optimistic viture).

Its a this moment Im wary about wasted opportunities though. As this is probably my last summer (ever maybe?) at Brunei, it might also be the last opportunities i get to really spend time with my parents and my high school friends. And honestly, whoever said that life is always running out of time was probably wasting his on qoutes like these, we have plently of time, we just don't really make the best use of it. So im just trying to make my best of these 3 months and not waste any of them. Time that needs to be valuably put towards not only my family, my friends from high school, my friends in college but also for myself. Time used wishing is time wasted not doing.

Finally, I once again get serious doubts concerning career choice. They say that when your start calling your career a job is when you stopped living your dream. Reading about Paul's tea house and gallavanting across the states promoting British tourism in a kilt (yes yes, absurd sounding no?) and all his talk about dreams has got me thinking again about it. Recently, I've had a bout of scholarship applications and i realize how 
underqualified I am with so many of them. Life and jobs seems to be a series of events that helps 
promote the later. We get good grades in high school to get into a good college where we get good professors who will give us good referrels so we can get into a good professional school where we write good thesises so that we can get good jobs where we get good references so that we can get other such 'good things' in life. But yet I am currently struggling with mediocrity. It is unlike myself to strive for the average but yet I am unmotivated to do more. And I realize it was because I don't really wish to strive to become a good microbiologist or a good FBI agent. Its just not my true dream. Maybe my parents have led me down the wrong path (the cursed path where asian parents doom their children to either engineering, science or business) but I can't really blame them for I myself still have no idea of what my true dream really is. After all, I am the guy who currently has a double major in Microbioogy and International 
studies, has a minor in Philosophy (and considered majoring in it). Wanted to major in Interior design, Journalism (Photo and Sports), Kinesiology, Law, Medicine, Sport Studies and Psychology. I often joke that I would dream of
being a professional student but if that is what i could really be to figure our what I truly love doing then it would be compeltely worth it. But until then, I will keep figuring it out and maybe till that day comes when I get my revelation, I keep going with what society and family comforms me to be.

Till then, its summer and its time to live.

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Exclamation_popcorn reflected on life at 6:31 PM